We met a long time ago...

Dear Ms. Ramella,

Our relationship started way before we met in person. At times I wonder if your existence is something somehow engraved in my deeper subconcious being. The way you match me and delight me seems as if you were always in my dreams.

I came to the Palouse in the fall of 1998. I was too cheap/not interested in TV but had a radio. Radio was my most common connection with the world. NPR was on every morning and every evening until the classics started. I enjoyed all the news and weekend shows. I took pride in being a regular listener because I felt my life was enriched by listening more. And it was all I had.

When I would get home I would turn the radio on and get pleasure out of hearing your voice update me on the goings on in the world. I actually preferred you the most. You were so lively, upbeat and fresh. I was attracted to your voice immediately and fantacized about meeting you. I thought it would be great to meet you over dinner in Seattle somewhere. I pictured a 30 something (~35) dark brown hair with some curls, a big smile. I saw you fit and beautiful, kind of like Gloria Estefan but with more of a mediteranean exotic heritage. You were there with me when I would make dinner and study. You were with me in many intimate moments. The blinds pulled down, you and I. My attraction was never psycho stalker like, but more gave me boyish giggle and dreamy sigh whenever I heard you. In my apartment or on anyone else's radio. I pictured you married, mother, 10 years older than me and incognito on the west side. But part of me thought and knew if I could meet you in between your marriage, I could rock your world and be a great man to you. I actually imagined sweeping you off your feet. Seriously.

I am thankful for all that we have went through to get to here. Through past searches for love, I smile to realize all the time you were always there. One experience is bold in my mind where I can see the power of you in my life. I was camped on Vancouver Island looking back to Washington. I was alone, just had an encounter with a bear, and felt myself in a height of my manhood. I was determined and felt strong in myself. I also felt primal needs... for a partner. To form my own clan. And when I looked back to the mainland I felt a sense of emptiness in my current relationship. I didn't recieve what I gave to her. I felt something flaky about her, but I believed so much in her that I didn't think it would matter. I actually thought my love could make her a better person. So battling with this (June 2006) I get in my truck and tuned in one of your stations near Port Angeles. It was the warm familiarity I had known since I first ventured out on my own. All triggered by hearing you, I felt home. I was filled with hope in my dreams.

I stopped and had a wonderful homecooked meal. Again you on the radio, and I reveled in your sucess and magnitude, reaching so many miles away with your warm spirit. I got giddy and remember thinking to myself... There she is again. What if I met her someday? I drove on many miles of road thinking I was driving further from you, but I was actually getting closer. My life has never been the same.

I love you Ms. Ramella.